Listen to my conversation with multi-published author and self-development expert Robin Marvel
After enduring a childhood filled with abuse, homelessness and teen pregnancy, Robin chose to overcome these challenges to create a life of purpose and passion.
She has devoted her life to showing others how to do the same. Using her story, books and workshops as tools, she is inspiring others to break negative cycles and choose to live the life they desire and deserve.
Motivated by a drive to break the cycle of poverty that she inherited, Robin made a solid commitment to change and create the life she wanted.
Although the first steps towards any change are commitment and follow through, Robin is quick to point out that breaking habitual cycles of thinking and behavior is not as easy as flipping a switch. Since there will be times when you backslide and engage in behaviors that are not moving you closer to your goal, part of your commitment must be to get back on track no matter how many times you veer off course.
According to Robin the next essential step towards taking control of your life is to take responsibility for it. Lose your victim mentality. Forgive yourself, forgive others and start taking action steps towards creating the life you want. Robin speaks from personal experience that a rough childhood is not an excuse to not perform to your optimum level.
Robin’s story is inspirational and her message that we are all here to enjoy our lives and own our greatness is powerful and empowering.
Listen to my conversation with New York City-based writer, wellness coach and yoga guide, Quentin Vennie.
Quentin utilizes his experience in personal training, yoga and juicing to influence and transform lives. His approach is to address the obstacles occurring inside the body, allowing the external changes to occur as a direct result.
In this conversation, Quentin shares his personal journey and how he used juicing, yoga and meditation to overcome his addition to prescription drugs and learn to manage his once debilitating general panic disorder.
Quentin was originally diagnosed with a panic disorder at age 14, but his mother rejected the doctor’s recommendation for medication.
The disorder gained new footing when he was in his mid-20’s. This time the anxiety attacks were unmanageable and, after receiving a diagnosis of generalized anxiety and general panic disorder, he accepted medication as a treatment. In addition, he experienced severe migraine, so he was prescribed a powerful narcotic for the pain.
Within 8 months he realized he was addicted. His use of the anti-anxiety medication increased six times over the original amount and, after an accidental overdose of the narcotic, he made the commitment to wean himself off both medications, but he wasn’t sure how.
While searching for answers online he came across the documentaries Sick Fat and Nearly Dead and Crazy Sexy Cancer. He watched both documentaries in the same day and went out and bought a juicer that night.
From there an exploration and eventual love of Yoga developed along with meditation and healthy routine of self-care.
Quentin is quick to point out that he is not “cured” of the panic disorder, but he is able to manage the frequency and intensity of the attacks. He continues to learn triggers and accepts that the disorder is a part of him but does not need to limit him.
About 10 years ago Emilie discovered a passion for outdoor activities especially mountaineering. Through her experiences challenging herself in the outdoors, Emilie gained a tremendous amount of confidence in her leadership and decision making ability. She learned that she could count on herself to be resourceful and think on her feet. Her self-empowerment grew and directly impacted her personal and professional life in a variety of positive ways.
It was while she was sidelined with an injury that Emilie began to see how she could create a space for others to have similar types of self-discovery experiences. This realization caused her to leave her 17-year career in financial services and pursue her passion.
Emilie says Call of the Wild Adventures caters to women only because she feels it is important to give women the space to have physical challenges and to express their fears and work through them without the overlay of gender dynamics coming into play.
She feels that outdoor adventure experiences are visceral so they sit in your body and created change on a different level than cerebral brain oriented activities.
Call of the Wild Adventures offers all level of trips from lodge trips with wine tasting and day hikes to full on backpacking adventures
Let Go of Heartbreak
Through her correspondence with others who have shared their own experiences with heartbreak, Alana noticed several common thought patterns that kept people from healing at the end of a relationship and unable to see the higher purpose behind the experience.
Some common reasons that people have a hard time letting go of heartbreak are:
You are telling your self that he or she was the “one”
By shifting your perspective and understanding that there is no “one” person who is “meant” for you is essential to releasing the relationship and healing. Gain the insight that the person was meant to teach you something that you needed to know or show you something about yourself that you needed to see.
You are glamorizing the relationship.
This makes it impossible to let go of heartbreak because you only remember the good times and forget the times when your needs and desires were not met. Instead take a balanced look at the relationship and ask yourself “what am I supposed to learn from this experience”. You may discover that the relationship taught you that you need someone who communicates well or that you need someone who has more time for you. Seeing the lessons is a positive because you know going into your next relationship that this is something that you must have.
Although it is important to grieve the loss of the relationship, to fully let go of the heartbreak, it is important to be mindful of these two common thought patterns and consciously shift them to ones that allow you to learn and grow from the experience.
Mindfulness is not a new concept. It has been around for thousands of years and is the foundation of spiritual practices around the world.
Simply, when you practice mindfulness, you are being open and accepting of the present moment for what it is. It means experiencing the rain without wishing it was sunny. Or feeling the heat without wishing for a cool breeze. It’s about enjoying a cool breeze without hoping it lasts forever or being disappointed when it stops. It’s accepting that life can be difficult and owning the awareness that it is our attachment to a thought or feeling that things should be different that creates our individual suffering.
When things don’t go the way we want, we resist what is happening. This resistance leads to dissatisfaction, which leads to anger, depression, frustration, fear, and anxiety. When we practice mindfulness, we are present. We are free of judgment, which allows us to turn towards what is occurring and embrace it.
Approaching life in this way creates a sense of peace, calm and empowerment, because we are in control of our own experience allowing us to respond to circumstances rather than react to them.
In the book 50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem, Janetti applies the practice of mindfulnessto help readers quiet the self-criticism and self-judgment that stands between them and a happier life. She gives every day practices that allow readers to learn to pay attention to their negative thoughts as they occur, face them and choose how they wish to respond.
According to Janetti, when you learn to love yourself for who you are, you invite a sense of wholeness into your being. You get rid of a sense of failure, inadequacy, and what is not “right” in your life. Being mindful allows you to say, “yes” to life and enables you to cultivate more self-acceptance and love.
The key to reaching goals is to develop a goal achieving mindset.
We’ve all done this: You set a goal with the best intention to reach it and about four-to six-weeks into your quest, you start to falter, lose momentum and eventually fall off the path completely.
Why? Were you lying to yourself about your commitment to reach your goal? Well, in a way you were, though not intentionally.
While your conscious mind was making the commitment, your unconscious mind had its fingers crossed – so to speak.
You see, reaching a goal such as getting in shape or getting out of debt requires you to alter what you normally do; to change your behavior. The challenge is your unconscious mind, whose job it is to automate behaviors to ensure that you not only physically survive but emotionally thrive, does not like change.
A goal achieving mindset can only be developed by altering the thoughts and beliefs that make up the unconscious mind.
Your unconscious mind drives your behavior. So, as Gregg point out in our conversation, while goals are set by the conscious mind, they are achieved by the unconscious mind. No matter what the conscious mind sets out to do, if the thoughts, beliefs, and learned programming of the unconscious mind are not altered you will snap back to old behavior patterns and fall short of your goal. So, making the changes in behavior that are necessary to achieve your goal, requires the cooperation of the unconscious mind.
How do you gain the cooperation of your unconscious mind to get into a goal achieving mindset?
You need to consciously choose a realistic goal and set an action plan to achieve it. As you work your plan, stay mindful and present to the thoughts and excuses that arises and the emotions and behaviors that result from them. Be diligent and document this resistance and explore the thoughts, beliefs, past experiences, and societal norms that support it.
For example, you have set a goal to get out of debt and created an action plan. As you follow your plan, you should pay attention to thoughts like: “Ugg, I’ve been working so hard I deserve a new pair of shoes” or “I’ve been so stressed out I need to take a cruise and get away”. These thoughts bubble up from your unconscious mind, which in this case is ensuring that you emotionally thrive, and cause you to act in a way that is counter to your goal.
In order to reach your goal, you need convince your unconscious mind that the new behaviors required to achieve your goal are beneficial to your physical and emotional survival.
Paying attention to and altering thoughts is essential to developing a goal achieving mindset. In our chat, Gregg outlines several ways to do this including mental rehearsal and associating a value to the goal.
The Power of Conscious Choice
Listen to my conversation with Intuitive Medium, Reiki Master, Author and Spiritual Teacher Shelly Wilson.
Taking responsibility for the choices you’ve made and being brave enough to face the consequences, see patterns of results and consciously choose different ways of thinking, acting and reacting are the most fundamental steps that you can do to regain your personal power and move from being a victim to victor.
In this conversation, Shelly and I talk about the power of conscious choice and how viewing all experiences as opportunities to grow enables you to live a live that is free of self-blame and judgment.
Visit Shelly’s website to learn about how she can assist you on your spiritual journey. You can also access her books: 28 Days to a New YOU, Connect to the YOU Within, and Journey into Consciousness and courses: Stop Existing and Start Living! andOpening Your Heart to Love.
In this conversation, Amy shares that the true nature of all human beings is well-being, clarity and peace of mind. Anytime you’re suffering, experiencing confusion, pain, fear, or loss; or questioning yourself or your abilities you are stuck in negative habitual thinking and that is what is holding you back from the peaceful experience of who you really are.
Her message is simply to rediscover your true nature there is nothing to do, nothing to change, you are already perfect and life is easier than you are making it.
When actively seeking to manifest what you want, it is easy to approach the process by focusing on the absence of what you want. For example, when seeking to attract a romantic partner into your life, instead of feeling lonely and asking for what you want, be grateful for the friends and loved ones already in your life and seek to add a special someone to the mix. Or if your finances are tight and you are seeking to attract a better paying job, do so by being grateful for your current job and salary and seek to move to your next level financially.
The bottom line is, if you are dissatisfied with your life or experiencing a sense of lack, you will attract more opportunities to feel these feelings. It is the basic “like attracts like” principle of the Law of Attraction. Remember, the universe cannot distinguish between what you want and don’t want. It only responds to your thought vibration and the images you hold in your mind.
Your job is to focus on what you want and open channels to receive what you desire. As Pam states, the best way to open channels is through joy and gratitude.
Cultivating an attitude of joy and gratitude is a matter of being present and mindful to the blessings that surround you and appreciating what you already have.
Wake up each day grateful and curious about what wonderful things are going to happen to you. Be on the look out for overwhelming and subtle blessings. Both will present themselves if you are aware enough to see them.
In addition to being an author, speaker and inspirational humorist, Jana is an ovarian cancer survivor and founder of the Been There – Got the Wig® Breakfast Club and Ministry.
Her mission is to uplift and inspire others to fight fear.
She focuses on three ways to fight fear:
As Jana points out, it does not matter what you are facing. Whether it is a life threatening illness, a divorce, job loss, foreclosure or any other situation that challenges your sense of safety and well-being, the feeling of fear is detrimental to your ability to move through the challenge and heal.
It is a documented fact that individuals who actively practice ways to fight fear and cultivate a positive mental state heal from physical disease quicker and more often than people who let fear overwhelm them to the point of hopelessness and depression. The same is true with non-life threatening challenges, like the ones mentioned above. The more you trust the process and stay in a place of hope, the less harsh the experience will seem. Your head will be clearer and you will have more energy to actively move yourself through.
The message is, you cannot always choose what happens to you but you can always choose how to respond. The decision to be a victim or a fighter is always in your hands, so make the effort to learn and practice ways to fight fear and take control of your challenge, no matter what it is.